Famed Pyschiatrist's Simple Advice for How to Check in On Friends During the Pandemic

During his discussion with Xander Schultz on the What We Don't Know podcast, world-famous psychiatrist Mark Goulston, who primarily focused on suicide prevention and never lost a patient in 25 years, had some easy-to-follow advice for how we can support each other during the pandemic.

You worked in suicide prevention for a long time as a psychiatrist, and you were famously successful in doing so. During this time where people are incredibly stressed out who should we be worrying about the most? Who should we be checking in with?

A friend of mine had a great phrase. She says, "we always guard our calendar". When we have an appointment, if it's on our calendar, we do it.

So what I would say is I would calendar an hour a day and that hour you start with your closest circle and since things are  changing, you communicate with them, in the way you do, whether it's text or email, and what you say is "Just checking to see if you're okay?". That's a different statement than saying "How are you doing?". Because when you say, "How are you doing" it almost is similar to those kind of empty or ways we greet people. "Hey, how you doing?" "Oh, I'm good. How are you?"

"Just checking in to see if you're okay... "

Yeah, "Just checking in to see if you're okay".

But when you schedule that hour to check them with people, I would make a list, especially make a list about the people you're most worried about because frequently those are the people we're scared to call and it hangs over us.
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And I know this is tough, but if you get into this routine, put down three or four people that you're most concerned about and contact them first in that hour. Because otherwise what will happen is it will just be lingering, eating away at you.

Listen to the full episode here
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